On IG Live for 2,5 hours
(Before the IG Live, Grace posted two pictures on IG with the caption "I dyed my hair and i hate it😀")
Grace once again promised that the EP would be out very soon (admitting that she has said that a lot) and told that she can’t have any shows before that. She has not been doing music on lives for a while because she shares a flat with her sister, and she doesn’t want to disturb her (considering her lives are often late in the evenings). She talked about a new song she had written “Highway" that would be on the EP. (for more details on this, please refer to the page for that song, once the song is published).
Most of the live was on non-music related topics. We can only, and only briefly, cover a few of them here:
On Stargirl Hollywood
Someone online asked "Is there going to be a “Dear Stargirl"? Grace answered: "Yes … wait, was that announced [frantically typing on her computer.] Oh yeah, it was announced … right!? Did I just do something really wrong? Yeah, Stargirl 2 release day…" She appears to have forgotten what the name of the new movie is. Another fan asked: "Any updates on Hollywood Stargirl?" Answer: "I don’t know, they keep me out of the loop."
On fame and relationships
She talked about how her fame had made it difficult for her to form relationships because she was never quite sure if people liked her for the right reasons, or just for her fame. It makes it difficult for her to date people (that, and the age-old problem of people who are only interested in the physical side of things). As she explained: I am not really a dater. I am a very serious person. I will only date you if I genuinely see a future with you – not necessarily marrying you. And it’s hard to find emotional connections with people these days if you are not offering up something. And I can’t put up a front. I want to know you [before we get physical] and more than that, I want you to know me, the way I eat, the way I laugh.
On not having control of your life - and the anger that can breed
My life was – and still is to a certain extent – out of control. I didn’t mean to go on Americas Got Talent, everything was so out of control, and things were kind of just happening right in front of me, and I felt like the one thing in my life I could control, was the food I ate. For me, slowly, when I have gained control over my life and control over my feelings, my personal life and professional life, I have noticed that my eating is just healthier. I was 12 years old, literally a child, and my life was being shaped by other people right in front of me and laid out in front of me. And iIwas so disconnected that I didn’t understand, I had no idea of what I was doing, and it was very overwhelming. And I did not know what I was going through while I was going through it. So, it was coming out in strange subliminal ways. I became very controlling, I gained a lot of anger – now don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for that experience, and I am so happy that I went through America’s Got Talent, and I am so happy for the life I have, and I couldn’t imagine It differently. But at the same time, I was also going through some very intense things in my personal life. I developed really bad anger issues because I was at such a disconnect with my feelings. What anger is, is incapability of expressing what you are really feeling. That’s why people in pain can feel really angry, because they feel like people are not understanding their pain. I am such a peaceful person, but when I do get angry, I feel like I am 13 again on Americas got talent, because I got angry a lot at that time, because i couldn’t really understand what I was feeling, the feelings were too complex. So, I just had random outbursts. And I still suffer from that to this day. And I guess that’s why I love writing so much, and why I like being an artist so much, because it’s kind of the only way I can get back in touch with my feelings. Sometimes I don’t even know that I felt angry about something until I write about it. Its I way I can just vent and pour everything out and scrape the bottom of the old pan.
Having lived her life “grown up" from an early age
I feel like I am at this point of my life – I have lived my whole childhood so grown up. I don’t even think people realize how grownup I had to be my entire childhood, with my parents and my siblings. I don’t want to say too much, I want to respect their privacy. But keep your inner child alive (or something): had to grow up so early even before AGT. And then AGT happened, and I was thrown into a literal full-time job, and everything in my life threw me into adulthood. And now, I am turning 18, but I feel like I’m cherishing my innocence more than I ever have before. I feel like I am letting my unheeled child live through.
On sexuality and labels
Answering a question from a viewer online, Grace talked about sexuality and labels: “ Yes, for everyone asking – I am queer – or pansexual or whatever. The truth is I don’t believe in labels, I don’t really like labels, they kind of invalidate how you actually feel, like they really invalidate what you are, although they are meant to validate you. There are so many labels. And the truth is, we are all different and there does not need to be a label for everything.. She also, prompted by a question online, spoke about when it is the right time to "come out": "Just wait, you are so young, there is so much time. I never really came out to my parents, they kind of figured it out. But wait till you are ready and can live on your own and make your own money."
On the motives of some older, male fans
She talked about the insane amount of hate she got online when she buzzed her hair and how she found that she got the most hate from people who did not like that she no longer looked “gender-neutral" and was not “conventionally attractive". Those fans may have said that they loved her for her music, but their reactions to her shaving her head showed them to have what she found was creepier motives. She talked about how while she appreciated that many of her older fans, liked her for her music, it was difficult for her to deal with some creepy old men that she had encountered among her fans. As she put it “it’s a grey area. I need you to know, that there are some older fans that I love, and they have supported me through everything. Sometimes older fans genuinely do like me, for me, for what I do and for my music. But other times they are very off-putting and very – what’s another word for perverted?"
About NOT dropping out of high school
She talked about how she was really glad that she had Not dropped out of high school: “I am so happy I didn’t drop out of high school, and I am so happy that I didn’t run away. I am so happy I am getting my high school degree. I was so – I am going to drop out of high school for the longest time. I am so happy I didn’t drop out. Now that I am getting close, I am in my senior year, I am almost graduated. I would have fucked myself over so hard, if I dropped out of high school.
About running away from it all
Someone online wrote: I sometimes just want to get away from everything and live in the woods in a cabin near a lake and focus on myself. Grace replied: I feel that a lot. I actually just wrote a song that will be on my new EP, called “Highway" and I wrote it about when I ran away because I felt that same way. I remember planning out – when I am 16 and I get my license, I am going to get a van, I am going to drop out of high school, and I am going to go missing. I literally planned that shit out. And I did try to run away when I was about 13, and I wrote a song about that.