UNTITLE Magazine article published
(The article was initually only published in the print version of the magazine. It was made available on the magazine website in April 2023)
"I share my deepest darkest secrets with the whole world for a living"
Alongside the fashion photos, the article contained an interview with Grace, where among other things, she talked about her bouts with depression, what she learnt from AGT, about Lion’s Den and the new EP, and about acting and her interest in production. The excerpts below are not necessarily in the order they appear in the interview.
Depression – and learning things the hard way – through experience
“I found myself coping with depression terribly. I think this is really common with young performers because we grow up having these incredibly overwhelming, adrenalin-filed experiences. It’s like skydiving; it's hard to come to a stop where everything drops. From the constant tortuous cycle of chasing the rush, from partying, going home, feeling terrible and doing it all again. I’m someone who learns through experience, so I tend not to listen to advice. I have to go through the pain myself to learn the value of the words people tell me and then be like, ‘oh shit, everyone was right.’"
Lion’s Den
Lion’s Den chronicles her recent … bout with depression, in part brought on by the pressure she gained at only 11 (SIC!) by winning America’s Got Talent. After jotting down the first lyrics of “Lion’s Den" the night before a production session, VanderWaal was utterly afraid to share them with the world, not wanting “to deal with people thinking: ‘She’s young, what does she know about depression?’"
The next EP
Her upcoming and, at the time of writing, untitled EP exposes more of her soul than any of her previous records. “The new EP is very reflective, which I didn’t even mean to do, but it’s where my mind is right now. … I put extra care into my writing and lyrics for this EP. … it’s all very vulnerable, and these are songs that, a couple of years ago, I would’ve written and kept to myself and never shared". “I’ve been really, really passionate about every dimension of the music. I think they’re all [the songs] so important in their own ways."
On Songwriting
When once she would feel “hung up on sounding artistic and deep with metaphors and forcing it", she now “understands the value of me simply expressing myself in a satisfying way letting the imagery and metaphors sew themselves in the story that I was already writing."
Producing – being completely in control
When the pandemic forced her to stay home for months on end. VanderWaal found her newest passion in the production side of work. “I love production and making the music around words. I think it’s just as important as what you’re saying because it’s an incredible thing to instil an emotion in someone. That’s real-life black magic. … so it’s very important to me that the production of my songs deliver exactly what the words are saying as well."
Acting
The experience [of making the first Stargirl movie] was not without fear. “on the first day of shooting that I had a live, the first day I was actually saying something to the camera, I started freaking out. In my head, I was thinking, ‘What did I do? What have I done?’ I agreed to a movie, but I don’t even know if I can act!"
Lessons from AGT and what followed
One thing AGT prepared her for was “the importance of not being taken advantage of, and to watch out for the manipulation that comes with being a famous kid" … “The glamorous life of working as a kid in the industry is really more of a fantasy. … Young fame isn’t easy, especially when it comes to someone all at once. It put such an incredible strain on my family and on my personal relationships, who had no idea what was going on. … I think that we were scared, and overwhelmed, and happy and sad and grateful, but also angry and resentful."
