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Homesick (Original)

Type: Official
Writers: Grace Vanderwaal
Times Performed: 1

Notes

Grace explained the background for the song when she first sang it in public at the Grammy Museum in November 2024:

The song was written with ‘Dough’ in Brooklyn. She told him about a therapy session she had had, and she had told the therapist that “I binge my pain like potato chips. That’s my guilty pleasure. Save it up, and then, under the sheets, indulge. In the heat of these moments, I often feel like I am being cradled by a mother. And she asked – ‘well, what does the mother look like?’ and I was so self-centered that I had never zoomed out the image,. But it was this absolute golden epitome of this maternal god and safety. And then I was talking to Dough, and we were talking about nostalgia and how my childhood home got ripped down, and how it’s so symbolic that I couldnøt even go back if I wanted to. I remember when I was younger, and all I wanted was to grow up and get out of my house, and everything would be OK; if I just got out of my house and I had freedom and an apartment, that’s when everything would absolutely be OK. And now I have all those things, and I am like – everything would be OK if I could just wake up in my bed again and hear the chickadees and go on a yellow school bus, man – those were the days. And we realized that we are always teetering to this unobtainable epitome of peace. For some reason, this fabricated memory is not real; when you narrow it down, it never happened. It’s this weird definition you had about when everything was good. And it leads to never living in the moment and having a very dissatisfying life. But anyway, we wrote a song about it, and it’s called Homesick.”




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Releases

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Lyrics

I’m homesick for a day that never happened
and I’m going to a place that I imagined
I’ll awaken in my bed, the sheets are sweating
I don’t know when the best of my life happened

Cause I waste every moment on the chase
Oh it’s never over
For the day that can’t get any better
If it’s mine, it’s gone forever
But then why do I remember

I’m craving arms that never held me like a mother
Who’s love’s so safe it’s deadly
And I’m small, and I’m warm and all that’s real is the moment
And I’m no longer a woman, I just melt into the floor

While I waste every moment on the chase
Oh it’s never over
For the day that can’t get any better
If it’s not mine, it’s gone forever
But then why do I remember?

All I ever wanted never did exist at all
I feel like my whole life has been haunted by a child who never was
And all I ever wanted never did exist at all
I feel like my whole life has been haunted by a child who never was

All I ever wanted never did exist at all
By a child who never was

Covers and Remixes

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